iwasbornaunicorn

FUCK YEA

2009-03-16T09:24:00.001-07:00

HEY CARMELINA
TARGET PRACTICE IS FOR MEXICO
IVE BECOME SPECTACULAR
WHICH IS STRANGE CUZ I FEEL DUMB

WEED POWER BROWNIE

2008-11-07T13:13:00.000-08:00

Ingredients:

6 ounces of unsweetened chololate
6 ounces (3/4 cup) of Marijuana butter
4 eggs
1 tablespoonful of vanilla
1/2 teaspoon of salt
2 1/2 cups of honey
4 cups of flour
3 tablespoons of Jack Daniels (optional)

Greased 9x12 baking dish or pan

Melt chocolate in a double-boiler saucepan, add the weed butter and honey, mix well, add eggs and mix again, add salt and vanilla, mix again, add flour, mix again. Pour into pan. Bake 35 minutes at 375 degrees. Remove from oven. Allow 1 hour to cool and set before cutting. Cut into 2 inch squares and place in gallon sized ziploc bag for storage or freezing.

For the perfect finish to a special dinner or a special evening try these gourmet honey weed brownies with a rich, complex flavour and velvety texture guaranteed to please the most discerning.

For variety with the weed brownies try adding 3 tablespoons of Jack Daniels, wild turkey, crown royal, or cognac to enrich the flavour; or 1 1/2 cups of cherry halves and 2 tablespoons of brandy; or drops of mint extract in batter to taste; or 2 tablespoons of instant coffee crystals dissolved in 1 tablespoonful of hot water.

Serve with rich coffee, espresso, port or cabernet.

WHITE POWER NIGGER

2008-11-06T23:55:00.000-08:00

AKA THE ADDITIONAL LIST OF PEOPLE TO KILL

GERALD G. DAVIDSON
BRANDON
OTHER PPL THAT USE THE WRONG TOOTHBRUSH
KARL MARX
THAT PPL THAT VOTED YES ON PROPOSITION 8, U ARE ALL LOSERS
ISAAC
ISAACS DEAD PARENTS
SOYLA
PPL THAT DONT THINK GOING TO SCREAMERS THE DAY AFTER HALLOWEEN IS GOOD ENOUGH
MARK (LOL!)
PPL THAT CANT NAME ALL THE BEATLES BUT PRETEND TO KNOW EVERYTHING (WHO FORGETS GEORGE OMG :@)
PPL THAT DON'T EVEN CARE WHEN WE WERE BRAVE ENOUGH TO MAKE A DRUG DEAL
PPL THAT DELETE WHEN THEY WRITE ON OTHER PPLS WALLS LIKE WE DONT KNOW
PPL WHO HATED ON CONOR :'( THAT MEANS U DYLAN
COLDPLAY
PPL THAT ABSOLUTELY ADORE THE MACRO SETTING

roadmaster5000

2008-07-04T01:37:00.000-07:00

so my dad comes in the room and is like 'lol ashley i have this great joke you are going to love it lololololol' like cracking up and the joke is:

this penguin walks into a bar and is like 'have you seen my son' and the bartender goes 'what's he look like'

and that is the joke

& my dad is all 'ISNT THAT THE MOST HILARIOUS THINK YOU'VE EVER HEARD' like can't even catch his breath laughing and i am kind of staring at him like wtf :)

he's gone out to be a roadmaster now

mind twins

2008-05-07T19:38:00.000-07:00

Jackie says:
ASHHHHHHHH
batticus says:
Jackie says:
tell me a story
batticus says:
OK SO TODAY
batticus says:
I WENT TO TEH GROCERY
batticus says:
AND I GO TO THE YOGURT AISLE
batticus says:
AND THERE IS LAUREN!
batticus says:
AND OUR MOMS TALKED AND IT WAS AWKWARD
batticus says:
THE END.
Jackie says:
Jackie says:
its not as good as the soyla josh story
Jackie says:
LOL!
batticus says:
I KNOW \
batticus says:
stories like that
batticus says:
only happen once
Jackie says:
Lauren says:
OK SO
Lauren says:
TODAY
Lauren says:
I WAS AT THE GROCERY STORE
Lauren says:
IN THE YOGURT AISLE
Lauren says:
WHEN I LOOK
Lauren says:
AND ITS ASHLEY
Lauren says:
THEN OUR MOTHERS TALKED AND IT WAS AKWARD
Lauren says:
THE END
Jackie says:
LOL!
batticus says:
lmao
batticus says:
who told the story first
Jackie says:
you did
Jackie says:
by like 20 seconds

visualization exercise!

2008-05-06T19:18:00.000-07:00

batticus says:
make me not pissed off pls
Lauren says:
uh.
Lauren says:
okok
Lauren says:
visualization exercise!
Lauren says:
you are standing in a room
Lauren says:
it is warm, but not too warm, sorta cool breezey
Lauren says:
the walls are a pleasent colour
Lauren says:
a soothing green
Lauren says:
in the middle of the room
Lauren says:
is a box
Lauren says:
a plain box
Lauren says:
cube shaped
Lauren says:
rather large
Lauren says:
inviting
Lauren says:
you go over, totally at peace
Lauren says:
and open it
Lauren says:
and a soothing tingly feeling washed over you
Lauren says:
because in the box
Lauren says:
is craig
Lauren says:
naked

a story

2008-05-06T14:39:00.000-07:00

Jackie says:
so tell me a story
batticus says:
ok so
batticus says:
once upon a time there was a girl named soyla
batticus says:
and she was vry ugly
batticus says:
and scared all the pervs into blocking me
batticus says:
by just looking at her!
batticus says:
and she met a guywith backhair his name was josh
Jackie says:
lmao
batticus says:
and they procreated
batticus says:
and then it was the end of the world
batticus says:
the end!

Luv Farzy

2008-02-23T16:24:00.000-08:00

Craig likes to have it up the rear
From Conor without any fear
Sometimes they do it in Conor’s car
Or maybe even in a bar
IT doesn’t really matter where they do its
Its jus a matter of whether the love each other and there are no tits

Craig and Conor love each other
But not in the way which they love their mother
They don’t love each other in that way
It’s a different way which states they are gay

Craig and Conor are such good friends to me
The reason why? – you will see
Its because they’ve made me
Realise that being gay
Is just a way
Of life baybee
I don’t have homophobiaaa
I don’t see anything wrong with being a man and liking it up the rear

Craig and Conor are both somewhat hot
And they both like gay sex a hell of a lot
Yess…. And they are both oh so kind
With gentle and loving minds

At first I didn’t know
I though Conor was a foe
But how could we stoop that low?
I really don’t like having enemies though

Although they are both attracted to men
So not names like "Hannah" but ones rather like "Ben" and "Ken"
I think that it is blate
That all men and women would have them more than a mate

So basically to conclude
The point is they love to see each other in the nude
And they are both gay
And they love being this way
Because it is what they choose
Being with each other- they have nothing to lose

I love them both so very much
Each other hearts they do touch
And each other’s hands they do clutch

The will adore each other forevermore as a small child does adore his pup
They will never ever give each other up
Like a Christian would give up chocolate for lent
Because you see
For each other, they are MEANT

Loves
From
Farzana
X

bus boy: or, how i learned to stop worrying and love the school buses

2008-02-03T12:38:00.000-08:00

chap 1

There once was a boy named Jarrett Mohartsy. He looked a little retarded, and was quite slow, thus his parents withdrew him from public school at the tender age of five. Every morning, he would sit on his porch and watch the beautiful yellow school buses drive past, one by one, their glorious yellow blur causing a tear in his eye. Young Jarrett Mohartsy would spend his free time (9-2, when no bus buses drove past), listening to Johnny Cash, reading The Magic School Bus and watching movies, such as Magic School Bus and Walk The Line. Also he watched the Magic School Bus on television.

Both of his parents died when he was nine years old. They got run over by a school bus. Well, two buses, but there is too much detail to go into. However, Jarrett was not going to blame his babies. Instead, he stayed forever angry at his parents, for the pain they caused their front bumpers.

He lived a troubled life. He would watch the young kids pass by his porch with their parents and get violently angry. Those kids had no idea. Their parents would probably leave them too.
He would once try to follow the school bus. Where did this creature of magic lead? He walked about a block before he gave up. Maybe he would never find out where they came from. Or where they went. The only thing he knew was that they put him in a sort of trance. They made him feel happy in the sad times. The times when he wanted to cry. They gave him reason. He continued to watch his shows that showed the one thing he cared about.

Then one day a bus broke down in front of his house. He was not particularily interested in this though beacuse it was not a school bus. No yellow paint, no stop sign, no black lines, This was a tour bus. And inside the tour bus were enough drugs and alcohol to satisfy Pete Dorhety. But it was not Pete's bus, it was Conor Oberst's bus.

As Conor walked off of the broken down bus with the wind blowing his hair that desperately needed to be cut, Jarrett had a brilliant idea. He was going to cut his hair. And keep it in a jar where he could forever treasure it. Scissors in his bus boy hands, he made his way over to Conor. He'd make an excellent candidate for cyber sex, he noticed. "Hi there." He said, approaching the obviously drunken man with that mischievous glint he got in his eyes only when he was looking at his favourite bus 11, which was named Jared. Or the new bus on the block, 8, named Kim. She sure was beautiful. He loved how she was yellow, and had windows, and seats, and an exhaust pipe (which admittedly he blew sometimes) and a roof, and so much more!

Then Conor slurred some drunken philosophy to Jarrett but Jarrett was not paying any attention to him. His eyes were fixed on the prize, Conor’s hair. "Why don’t you guys come inside for a bit?" Jarrett said with a mischievous grin. Once they were inside Jarrett not being able to forget the manors his favourite aunt taught him, he decided to get snack for Conor and his groupies to eat.

He came back five minutes later with a tray of freshly made snowballs, freezing cold hands and a pair of scissors in his back pocket.

"Thank you so much!" Conor exclaimed in his drunken voice after reflecting on how he wished he had a trumpet to smash while playing Road To Joy. He took a freshly made snowball, wishing desperately that his bff 4 lyf Craig was there with him but unfortunately he was back in Australia frolicking amongst the kangaroos and dingos like every single Australian ever does no exceptions every last one of them. "Mm this is a really good fucking snowball what is your recipe?!"

"Snow." Said Jarrett, "Would you like to meet my pet snake Cookie?"

"No thnx." Conor took a drink out of his flask, his favourite thing to do especially when at chick flicks like P.S. I Love You. "But what about that barn in the back."

"Oh that is my bus barn. I will show you it later maybe, but you must promise not to touch any of the buses I am only allowed to touch them."

Conor was desperate to see the barn filled with buses, so he took big bites of his snowball. He would have suffered from a terrible case of brain freeze if the drugs and alcohol hadn’t already taken away all feeling in his body. "Can we go now? I promise not to touch them" Conor pleaded with Jarrett. "Of course" Jarrett replied. So the two of them made their way to the barn, "Wow they are so beautiful!" Conor exclaimed. But Jarrett didn’t like the way Conor was eyeing their exhast pipes didn’t like it one bit. His eyes flickered with rage and his hand made tight fists and then he grabbed the scissors and grabbed Conor from behind.

"What are you doing!" Conor cried in fear, because Jarrett sure was strong for a 14/16/17 year old boy, his age still undetermined, most likely 16 or 17 though! He strugged in bus boy's arms. If only he hadn't trusted Pete when he told him that smoking crack with his cat wouldn't hurt him too much or he hadn't started that bad cat grass smoking habit with Craig! What was he to do now?!

"I am taking what is most precious to you."

"OMFG, NOT MY FUCKING LIQUOR."

"not that," Jarrett whispered, preparing the scissors.

"Then what-" Conor clued in. "OMG NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Tears welled up in Conor’s eyes and the dreaded "snip, snip" of the scissors removed his brunette locks. "Stop it! Stop it you bus loving freak!" Conor exclaimed and struggled to get free of Jarrett’s gripe. But it was too late. His hair was everywhere, everywhere but on his head that is. "Oh no who will love me now? Definetly not that bitch musician girl that i am rumoured to be dating. She is sure to leave me. And Craig is sure to be upset, he always envied my hair." Conor thought to himself.

Immediately his hair had become that telltale emo shag that made so many girls swoon, like a certain redhead we will not mention!! Craig would sure to cry his eyes out!

Jarrett cackled evilly, looking at the hair in his hands. It was so erotic and beautiful. Conor decided then and there he was going to write a song about this experience, and name it "bus boy: or, how i learned to stop worrying and love the school buses". It was going to be a super cool hit, even on mainstream radio! He could feel it, and despite the fact he was still crying and snivelling about his lost hair, he supposed Jarrett was responsible for his career decision.

"Why would you do that, Jarrett? How could you? I thought we were friends."

There was a long silence, Jarrett seemed to be thinking, eyes shifting from side to side inconscpicuously. Finally his response came: "School bus."

JACKIN OFF PARTY

2008-02-01T22:17:00.000-08:00

your service was prompt and your body rockin'

MARK FACEBOOK CONVOS! YAY!!

2008-01-31T22:27:00.000-08:00

LONG STORY, JUST GO WITH IT

Mark: Did you leave a fucking gnome at my house....cuz if you did you can fuck right off

Me: I'M SORRY. We were bored. And thought it would be funny. And I didn't reply because I figured fuck off meant fuck off. You've got to admit it was a LITTLE funny, though.

Mark: i didnt think it was funny......can you and your freinds please never come near my house again...........and just so you know im being nice right now.......just dont piss me off okay :)

Me: Ok. Sorry again. We didn't think it would piss you off that much. It WAS kind of weird, though. Won't happen again. Don't be maddddd.

Mark: okay ......im not made

Me: Good :)

ABOUT TWO MONTHS LATER

Mark: For god sakes!...i told you guys no more gnomes no notes no nothin...didnt i say that...now you pissed me off...just because i sepecificaly ask you guys to not do this shit... so now im deleting you all from facebook and msn..bye

Me: :(

ABOUT A MONTH LATER

Mark: Ok this is the deal.....stop ok.....can you undrestand that????..STOp....stop adding me...stop leaving shit at my house...stop callin me!.....stop trying to be my freind...i dont like any of you and i was trying to be nice before but i dont want to be your buddy...can you respect my wishes and leave me alone ??? what are you a stalker? just stop please i dont care ... okay??? i dont want to be your freind ..see?? and im not going to your party and if you think anything of me you wont leave anything at my house or call or anything okay???...i dont need more shit in my life right now i already have enough problems i dont need 3 stalker EX ! classmates...i already have a drug and booze and money and mental and physical problem ...CAN YOU UNDERSTAND THAT????......

Just STop ! jesus christ...i feel like im dead and im 18...and yall are not helping

by the way every time you leave somthing at my door or call me or continuously add me or send rediculas message's...it makes me dislike you more

PS: i hope you will just send me a message saying i understand your wishes...i wont bother you again....if you do not i will no that you truely dislike me and are only out to bother me more .....i would also like you to know that regardless of what message you send me after this..it will get a chilly reseption...i will more then likely not respond...i am just done with this you get me

ABOUT ANOTHER MONTH LATER

Me & Jackie: HEY MARK

ASHLEY AND JACKIE HERE

Magical

Always blocks us

Really handsome, like that song handsome devil

Kills everyone if you were terminally ill

Came to our edgewood party

A joke that went to far (your birth according to david)

Makes beautiful music with the tin whistle <3

Eats vegetables

Really stylish

One true friend

Name (there are too many n's in it)

Nice hair

Icy responses

Kinky

Orange (like you know the movie)

Laid. You have laid in your name. :)

Avoids real life problems and flamingosIn denial

Davis brother (lauren has internet sex with him.. shhh dont tell her we told you)

I think you have an anger problem

Self fellatio

P.S. GUESS WHAT A DRAG QUEEN HAD EYE SEX WITH US

P.P.S. LARUEN TOLD US STAR PIERCED HER OWN NIPPLE AND HER VAGINA

P.P.P.S. GUESS WHAT BLOND GUYS FRIEND BROWN HAIRED GUY IS HAVING A CIGARETTE OUTSIDE AND STARING AT US. HE IS SITTING BESIDE US ASWELL.

P.P.P.P.S. YOU THINK WE SHOULD ADD HIM ON FACEBOOK?

P.P.P.P.P.S. THINK WE SHOULD LEAVE HIM A GNOME?? (WE WONT LEAVE YOU ONE DONT WORRY, YOU BIG FAT BABY)

P.P.P.P.P.P.S. BLOND GUY BDAY IS SOON WE WILL LEAVE HIM A BDAY PRESENT

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. ADAM HATES US NOW (HE ALSO LIKES ANIMAL SEX)

Mark: ASHLEY AND JACKIE

red and blone

need help

think they know what mark likes(from talking to his brother)

LOL!

Orange(as in orange you glad i didnt say banana)

Taylor (like tim the tool man taylor)

Think they are blocked

think mark has an anger problem lol...no your thinking of tolarence

PS:who is brown hair guy and who is blonde hair guy?

PPPPPPPPPPPPPS:are you suprized adam hates you?Does that tell you somthing?

PPPS: i dont like this style of communication....I Thought i said no more padder!....if you want to talk to me ask me real questions and dont say things that are pointless .. and dont make sence to me anyway..okay

PPPPPPPS: wanna here a joke or two?

How Do You Circumsize A Redneck?

Kick his Sister In The Chin...HA HA HA

Why dont blondes in san francisco where mini scurts?

There Balls Hang Out...HA HA HA

Me & Jackie: for one thing HOW DO YOU KNOW MY LAST NAME :@:@:@:@:@

AND I WISH I WAS TIM THE TOOL MAN BUT UNFORTUNATELY IT IS NOT MY REALITY

& ALSO WHY WOULD YOU INSULT BLONDES THEY ARE IMPORTANT MEMBERS OF SOCIETY NEXT I'M GETING TO HEAR THAT YOU HATE GINGAS OR SOMETHING

brown haired guy is here again BTW and blonde haired guy is AIDAN HIGGINS but it is aiden when we are being endearing. HOLY FUCK I JUST LOOKED UP AND BROWN HAIRED GUY WAS SITTING SMOKING OUTSIDE AND WE THOUGHT IT WAS YOU! HIS NAME IS SAM WILSON BTW WE COULD ONLY DISCUSS WHAT HIS NAME IS WHEN HE LEFT BECAUSE HE MIGHT HAVE HEARD.

come to tim hortons some night and you'll see him guaranteed ;)

ALSO

WAY TO DO THE POEM WRONG :@:@:@:@:@:@ WE ARE TOUCHED YOU TRIED BUT MARK, SERIOUSLY. IT IS NOT THAT HARD. YOU EVEN KNOW MY LAST NAME SO IT IS NOT AN ISSUE. ANYWAYS, THNX 4 THOSE HILARIOUS JOKES THOUGH I HAVE TO ADMIT THEY WEREN'T RLY THAT FUNNY. I COULD THINK OF FUNNIER. LIKE HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT ALL BLONDE PEOPLE IN SAN FRANCISCO HAVE BALLS HMMMMMMMMMMM???? IT SEEMS LIKE SOMETHING SOMEONE WOULD HAVE TO FIND OUT FOR THEMSELVES. :@:@:@:@

i apologize for that aggressive autistic fit. it was accidental. ok, i don't know what padder is, but i guarantee that i don't send any of it. :@ anyways, here are some discussion questions we came up with for you over the week. if any of them resemble padder too much, let me know. i'd like to know what your opinion of 'padder' is:

Discussion Questions:

1. Who is your favourite artist and why?

2. What is your favourite movie and why?

3. How are you voting in the next election and why?

4. Is Morrissey homosexual? We were wondering. I mean he is THE singer and the other guy is THE guatarist of the century.

5. If you had a terminal illness, what would you do during the remaining days of your life?

6. If you could learn any language, what would it be?

7. Would you fuck a couch? You know, if it got REALLY bad.

8. What is your opinion on cones?

9. Would you fuck a bag in the corner of your room with people videotaping it?

10. Lauren had soup with meatballs in it but she 'ladled' around the meatballs is that allowed? I think she was cheating and I am going to tell PETA all about it. Also, I am composing letters to various bands and/or organizations that are VERY important and I was wondering if you had anything you'd like me to say to any such OMFG BROWN HAIRED GUY JUST LEFT WITH A CIGAR IN HIS MOUTH AND WE THINK IT WAS BECAUSE HE WANTED TO BE COOL AND HE JUST WENT IN THE BATHROOM WITH HIS DRINK AND THE CIGAR LIKE WTF IS HE GOING TO SMOKE IT IN THERE OR WHAT??? OH WAIT HE JUST CAME BACK OUT AGAIN AND JACKIE IS DYING FROM CRACKING UP AND NOW HE IS LEAVING THE REGULAR WAY AND SITTING OUTSIDE LOOKING AT HIS IPOD AND LEANING AGAINST THE USUAL TIM HORTONS BAR THING AND LIGHTING HIS CIGAR WITH HIS TIM HORTONS CUP ON THE LEDGE. WHAT A LOSER.

Okay that was 10 very valid questions that I hope weren't at all like padder to you. Thank you for your time and it was great knowing you.<333333333333333333

P.S. JESSIE'S GIRL ♥RICK SPRINGFIELD = I'D HIT THAT

P.P.S. MY ANGEL IS THE CENTERFOLD

P.P.P.S. JACKIE IS THE SPACE COWBOY AND I AM THE GANGSTER OF LOVE LAUREN IS REFUSING TO BE MAURICE THAT WHORE. :@:@:@ WILL YOU BE MAURICE???

P.P.P.P.S. DO YOU KNOW AT ALL HOW TO HELP AN ITCHY/PEELING NECK?

P.P.P.P.P.S. STOP THINKING YOU ARE COOL BY COPYING OUR PPPPPPS STYLE & SAYING THINGS LIKE WHORE AND WE DO NOT NEED HELP FOR THE RECORD.

AND FOR THE ROAD, HERE IS A FANTASTIC JOKE:

WHAT DID THE BRUNETTE BOY SAY TO THE BLONDE & GINGA GIRLS?

GOODBYE FOREVER

HE WAS SILENT AGAIN FOR A REALLY LONG TIME

Me: Good day Marky Mark

How is life going? Mine is just swell. Let me tell you why:

I finished my essay for modern art history. I wrote about Francisco Goya. I think I came up with a very established thesis if I do say so myself.

The artwork "Courtyard with Lunatics" demonstrates a significant change in Goya's traditional painting style. This was due to his sudden mental and physical breakdown, the introduction to romanticism and the age of Enlightenment, and his exploration of the horrific treatment of mental patients in the eighteenth century.

I stayed home today to finish it even though Jackie was a ho and said I shouldn't. And Lauren was all 'bitch taking credit for my editing' about the thesis. Some people are never satisfied.

What else... I am going to see Matt Good tomorrow. I am missing commencement but whatever. Amanda got back from her trip to Europe and got JACKIE a present but not ME and LAUREN. Watabitch.

I still have a million things to do. Halloween is so soon. Jackie and I are going to be the rhymenocerous and hiphopapotamus (her lyrics are bottomless). And buy bling for it on the weekend FUN TIMES.

Well I gotta go. TTYL BAI

Mark: OH MY GOD! stop the presses one of you typed somthing to me that has meaning...you see when you type things that have meaning and that dont annoy me you get a response

anyway life is going okay i guess...could be better but i am happy today beacuse its friday and i got the new stanley kubrick box set yesturday with tones of new special features so that makes me happy..but i am also pissed off that they didnt put barry lyndon in the box set that is in my top three for favorite kubrick ...the ones they picked are pretty bad choice's actually..its Full metal jacket,2001 a space odessy,eyes wide shut,a clockwork orange and the shining....but i would have put barry lyndon ,lolita ,paths of glory,Dr strangelove:or how i learned to stop worrying and love the bomb and the killing

but horse's for corses

last thing the bastard ever said to me HUFFHUFFHUFF

HEY THERE MY LITTLE GREEN VEGETABLE

2008-01-31T22:09:00.000-08:00

HEY THERE IT'S REALLY NICE TO MEET YOU

EVERYONE GO TO http://www.myspace.com/splinterheadsucks AND FRIEND THEM, THEY ARE DA BEST. ;);) THAT IS NOODLES HE IS MY HOMEBOI HE SINGS LIVE FOR ME AND CONOR HIS REAL NAME IS TYLER I THINK SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

ALSO HE SAYS WE ARE HIS NUMBER ONE FANS. YAY11 LOLOLOL LMFAO ROFL :D:D

TO A VERY SPECIAL FACINGTON

2008-01-30T19:26:00.000-08:00

HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY, I'D LIKE TO SEE ANYONE TOP THIS. AS IF CRAIG SINGING WITH A GUITAR PLAYING CAT WAS NOT ENOUGH. huff*

C+ MY ASS

2008-01-25T10:18:00.000-08:00

I may have gotten a C+ but at least I am still an A+ hottie!!!

FUCK YOU YORK

yeahhh

2008-01-06T02:38:00.001-08:00

http://www.shropshirestar.com/2007/12/man-with-bus-obsession-jailed/
hmm...

http://www.myspace.com/jarrett_miller

we will figure you out jarrett just you wait and see.

LOL!!!!!

2007-12-04T12:41:00.000-08:00

next thing you know he'll be doing drugs and saying goodbye forever

MORE 5 AM FUN

2007-12-04T08:06:00.001-08:00

dklgjalgjlajkhvkcxkm;lbkapdoi'gdcbk;lckbzxpoadgadg

the bus boy story

2007-12-04T07:48:00.001-08:00

BUS BOY

so a while back on msn this guy named jarrett (jarrettm1990@yahoo.com - add him plz) added me. he tried to get me to cyber with him, and when i wouldn't he started telling me about his school bus collection. he changed his dp on msn like 20 times a day to diff school buses, and apparently he named them and such.

jarrettm1990@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says:
i have a bus named jake 1 named sam chase jared kim sara bob dylan jim ray

anddddd he talks to them. like so...

jarrettm1990@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says:
u want me to tell buses u all said hi
i'm the motherflippin' rhymenocerous says:
UM OK

jarrettm1990@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says:
even if i am driveing with my mom if i see a school bus in a car crash i will rip my mom door off jump out make sure bus is ok i would ratter get hurt not bus

and my personal fave...

jarrettm1990@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says:
every night when every 1 is a slepp school buses come out of bus yard drive a around by there selfs it is so cool

he is a bit of a retard.

anyways, in case you were wondering what happens when you insult school buses, here is a nice example of the reaction:

jarrettm1990@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says:
fuck u
jarrettm1990@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says:
leave buses a lone
jarrettm1990@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says:
what do they do
jarrettm1990@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says:
noting they just sit there looking at people

i'll leave you with this

Lauren says:

what's your favourite emotion, Jarrett?
jarrettm1990@yahoo.com (E-mail address not verified) says:
school bus

5 AM CONVO

2007-12-04T07:45:00.000-08:00

WE ARE COOL TO THE MAX

LOL!

2007-12-04T07:39:00.000-08:00

FOR BRI

GNOMES ARE COOL

SHE HAS POOR TASTE. YAY AUTISM.

90 YEARS YOUNG

2007-12-02T19:46:00.000-08:00

BDAY PRESENTS PROMISED TO ME SO FAR:
BOUNCY BALL FROM SOME RANDOM PERSON NAMED ANN
A CONE
BUSBOY'S ETERNAL LOVE
STRIPPER, KIZZI (IDK :S)
A SURPRISE ON MY DOORSTEP FROM DAVID AND ARNOLD
VIDEO GAMES FROM TYRONE
DEAD RATS FROM JOSH BECAUSE HE IS 'COOL LIKE THAT' (YA RIGHT)
A TWIG ROLL
A SHIRT WITH SKULLS ON IT AND JEANS WITH FLAMES ON THEM FROM NATHAN
A 'SPECIAL SURPRISE' FROM BILAL
DONKEY
A HUG
A BIBLE AND VILE OF HOLY WATER
BLACK MAN DILDO

PEOPLE TO KILL

2007-11-22T18:47:00.000-08:00

THIS WILL BE CONSISTANTLY UPDATED AS MY HATRED GROWS

EMI'S FAMILY
MARSHY & MARSHY'S EX GF THE HORSE
BUS BOY
BONO
MICAH
SMARTERCHILD@HOTMAIL.COM
PERV JASON
MORRISSEY
HARRY POTTER
KEENERS
MARILYN MANSON AND HIS GF
AVRIL LAVINGE-- IF SHE DOES NOT DROWN IN HER MAKEUP FIRST
CONOR'S HAIR (CRAIG LISTEN WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU huff*)
ANYONE THAT DOESN'T LIKE DANCE COMMANDER (LAUREN)
THE NEOPETS TEAM
SPOGG POPULATION AND THEIR SHERIFFS THOSE FUCKFACES
MEEBO'S GAY ROOMS
TYRONE
THE INTERNET
BRI OCCASIONALLY IS ANNOYING ENOUGH TO MAKE THE LIST, PARTICULARLY IN HER SONG LYRICS SESSIONS AND HARRY POTTER RANTS
BEYONCE
MARK CAMERON NIKOLAIDIS
PETE WENTZ AND HIS FUGLY PENIS
GIRLS THAT GET OFF ON WATCHING EMO BOYS MAKE OUT
ANDROGYNOUS JASON
PEOPLE THAT SAY MARIJAUNA WILL KILL YOU
MY FATHER I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF PLANNING THIS ONE FOR REALZ ACTUALLY
PEOPLE THAT LEAVE CONVOS (CONVO LEAVING SLUTS)
PEOPLE WHO ASK QUESTIONS IN LECTURES
UNFRIENDERS (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE)
HOBAGS
ROBERT, THAT POSEUR
MS. SHEHATA THAT FUCKING CUNT FROM OUTER SPACE
HILARY
OLA
JOSH & HIS BELOVED ANGELINA JOLIE THAT HE WOULD BED IN A SECOND
DAVE & NICOLE
SCARLET JOHANSSEN
THE GREY'S ANATOMY WRITERS
PEOPLE WITH BACK HAIR
13 YR OLDS
ALEX AND THE TART
GOD'S EX
PATRICIA
HATERS

AMAZING SECRET REVEALED.

2007-11-17T00:14:00.000-08:00

I AM SERGIO. I AM A CANADIAN GIRL.

THE END.

FUCKING YORK IS A CUNT FROM OUTER SPACE

2007-11-05T20:56:00.000-08:00

FUCKING ASSIGNMENT WHICH WAS STUPID WITH A QUESTION THAT WAS IMPOSSIBLE THAT EVEN LAUREN COULDN'T ANSWER.

WHY I LIKE EELS

2007-11-04T16:16:00.001-08:00

Beatrice Oblongson

Who couldn't have a deep love for such a majestic aquatic creature? Crazy people, that's who. Therefore, for your own sanity, you must respect eels and their profound greatness. In the deep blue sea, they live under rocks or in caves, where they spend their time playing ball and talking about the ethics of marine biology. Is that anything to be afraid of or disgusted by?

I had the distint pleasure of interviewing fellow eelian, Beatrice Oblongson.

"I just don't understand why these humans are so racist about us. We eat sea weed. And nickels that float to the bottom of the ocean. I'm quite fond of lemon juice." Mrs. Oblongson continued off topic for a little while, hissing and gurgling away in eelian. "We are very environmentally friendly! It's the lobsters and crabs that are the problem! And those damn prawns that think they're so hot."

There you have it. Attaching her bonnet with her fins, she swam off to her lair to round up her spawn for another day of fun and games.

As eels would say, "Hiss gurgle hiss." Translated, it means: "don't hate on us just cause we know yo mamma!"

(Randall McKenzie, a wolf eel, would like to add: "It's not my fault I look like I have false eyelashes. Lay off, why don't you?")

I'M RLY NOT A PEDO

2007-11-04T16:08:00.000-08:00

FUCKING NEOPETS PISSES ME OFF. STUPID RETARDED CHILDREN. AND I GET FROZEN FOR NOTHING. MAYBE I SHOULDN'T HAVE MENTIONED BEASTTUBE BUT I DIDN'T THINK THEY'D GO AND LOOK AT IT. WHORES.

KILL ME

2007-11-04T15:56:00.000-08:00

I HATE MY LIFE SOMETIMES.

MICAH IS A BIG FAT FUCKFACE

2007-11-04T15:43:00.000-08:00

Anime North. The two words send shivers down my spine. Anime has been my passion since that first episode of Pokemon on YTV. Since then, my taste in Anime has grown, and now my shelves are groaning under the weight of hundreds of titles, everything from the classic Chobits to obscure titles from Japan bought lovingly off E BAy. You could say I was obsessed. But Anime North. Thats where it all comes together. AN is the the largest Anime convention here in Toronto, and I’ve attended it religiously every year. AN is heaven for people like me. Everywhere you look there’s cosplayers in elaborate costumes, people spend months finely tuning their look. Booths shout at you from every corner of the convention hall, Tokyo Pop Manga, Gaia Online, all the big names are here. It is truly a feast for the anime lover’s eyes. This year I came as Light Yagami from Death Note. Not the most original, but I looked good. My black suit look fantastic on my slight asian frame. My hair was perfectly straightened and swishy. I hate to brag, but I looked sexy. I came here with a group of friends. We’d been to all the usual booths, watched some cosplay competitions, ate some pocky. But I was burning to see one more thing my friends hadn’t dare neared; the yaoi section. Seperated by tempting black curtains to shield minor’s eyes, it held all my fantasies. I had never dared go near it, my friends didn’t know I was gay and I wasn’t about to give them any clues. I had always longed to sneak behind those curtains, and today I was going to do it. I told my friends that the sushi we’d had earlier wasn’t sitting well, and I slinked away towards the bathrooms. As soon as I could tell they weren’t looking, I hid myself in a group of Narutos and made my way to those teasing curtains. I quickly flashed my ID at the security personnel, and I was in. It was even better than I had imagined. This wasn’t the softcore lovely dovey stuff you buy at Chapters. This was full on, hardcore stuff. Everywhere I looked there was something in someones asshole, whether it be a penis, dildo or tentacle. I breathed in hard, taking it all in.At one end a video was being projected onto a white wall. It was Gravitation, but not in its wimpy North American version, this was full on original Japanese hentai. Eiri was doing Shuichi in the ass, with much groaning and glistening. I stood there, enraptured with it. I could feel myself growing hard in my pants.“Its good, isn’t it?” said an all too amused voice to my left. I glanced over and had to do a double take. At first I thought I was staring at a beautiful woman. He was wearing a red embroidered kimono that had fallen to around his shoudlers, exposing the pale skin stretched over his collar bones. His slender fingers twirled a parosol over his shoulder. His hair fell gently over his eyes. And those eyes. Blue, and sexy, with just the right amount of eyeliner, and staring right at my crotch. “Uh, yeah, way better than the clean version,” I said in a cool tone, trying to play off the fact that I was now desperately shifting my body and jacket to cover the protrusion in my pants. His lips curled into a sexy yet playful smirk. He’d seen. I felt my cheeks get hot as they flushed, giving me away even more. “There’s no need to be embarassed,” fuck yes there is, “my name is Jason, and you?” Now his eyes looked into mine. His head tilted in an adorable questioning way, as if to say ‘yes, I can look even cuter.’ “Micah. I’m Micah,” I reply feebly. A hot and obviously gay guy has finally given me some attention, and I’m being a total spaz. “So Micah,” he said, drawing out my name so it sounded like a cat purring, “what is it you like about this paticular film?” He came towards me, closing the distance between us. “Well, its, uh, very romantic. Like with how they met and stuff. And I guess its pretty hot...” way to go Mr Smooth. “It is, isn’t it,” Jason’s hand was suddenly on my thigh, his fingers slowly tracing their way up, “so two guys together turns you on?” “Yea, I guess so,” his hand moved up and rested on my still hard cock. Our backs were to the crowd, no one could see. His hand started gently stroking my hard on through my pants. My breath quickedned. He leaned in, his breath on my neck. He whisped, “so then you don’t mind this, do you.” It wasn’t a question. His pace quickened, and I moaned softly. I squirmed in pleasure, the breath on my neck had turned to gentle kisses and licks, masked from the crowds by his parosol. His hand got quicker and quicker. I thought I would burst. Then suddenly is stopped. I looked at him, wanting more, panting hard. He winked and said, “if you wish to continue, I’m in room 371 at the hotel next door.” He abruptly turned and walked away, his kimono swishing behind him dramatically. And I was left there, half way to ecstacy, hard, and craving more.

This was all spaced weirdly because Lauren was a whore and sent me a gay document.

A+ HOTTIES

2007-11-03T20:14:00.000-07:00

I'VE BEEN MAGNETIC SINCE I WAS A BABY

The Perfect Drug

2007-11-03T19:49:00.000-07:00

I got my head but my head is unraveling
cant keep control can't keep track of where it's traveling
I got my heart but my heart's no good
you're the only one that's understood

They met in secret under the running shoes tossed over the telephone wires. It was for simple transactions. Her drugs, his money.

But tonight, something else was on the table. Mark was craving something new. Her.

I come along but I don't know where you're taking me
I shouldn't go but you're wrenching dragging shaking me
turn off the sun pull the stars from the sky
the more I give to you the more I die

Breath heavy, Mark walked towards Jackie. She was standing there under the shoes, surrounding in sexy fog. Her red hair and slutty hippy outfit screaming "come hither."

"What'll it be tonight, Mark?" she asked, "weed, blow, perhaps a little smack?"

"Tonight, the only drug I need is you."

and I want you
you are the perfect drug
the perfect drug
the perfect drug
the perfect drug

Mark swept Jackie into his arms.

"Oh Mark, whats that hard thing in your pants?" purred Jackie.

"Its just a BB gun. Its not even mine."

"Oh."

my blood just wants to say hello to you
my fear is warm to get inside of you
my soul is so afraid to realize
how every little bit is left of me

Mark brought Jackie's lips to his own, savouring the scent of crack that wafted from her.

As they broke apart, Mark whispered, "you will always be my rockstar. My rockstar of the GSA."

take me with you
without you everything just falls apart
it's not as much fun to pick up the pieces

TRU LUV 4 LYF

2007-11-03T18:38:00.001-07:00

And I'd give up forever to touch you

'Cause I'd know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to Heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't wanna go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

Sooner or later it's over

I just don't wanna miss you tonight

The night was cold, distant. David was sad because he had just gotten off MSN after explaining that love when you are 15 is never the same when you are older. Listening to Handsome Devil by none other than The Smiths, he turned and there she was.

She was standing in his doorway, her doctors uniform hugging her clevage in all the right ways. "Hello" she whispered and took a step closer. "If your heart goes pitter-patter, taken an aph-aph-aphrodisiac."

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

David could not believe her beauty, the mysteriousness of her outfit and he couldn't help but think she was somehow familiar. "What's your name?" He could barely manage to say, eyeing her up and down.

"I'm Lauren, but you can call me doctor." She kept her eyes on him as she walked further into the room. His heart began to beat faster. "And you are?"

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies

When everything feels like the movies

Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

"David." He breathed, biting his bottom lip in indecision. She was so... he couldn't even find the words. Just out of this world. "I... I--"

"Shh." She said, pressing her finger to his lips to silence him. "Just one night, baby. It just has to be one night."

He resisted for a moment, wondering if this moment of pleasure was worth the pain that would follow.

She ended his contemplation when her lips touched his and he knew he had to have her, even if just for one night. One magical night. One night of passion romance, and cones. One night that didn't include self-fellatio.

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I AM NOT MENTALLY CHALLENGED

2007-11-03T18:23:00.001-07:00

IT'S THE BLUEBIRD OF UNHAPPINESS. HE SAYS GABE IS THE FAGGIEST FAG IN ALL OF FAGDOM.